In my dreams, I have a vagina, ovaries, a uterus, C-cup breasts, and everything else a cisgender girl would have. In my dreams, I am also a magical girl. Sailor Lunaria, the Guardian Senshi of Lunaria, the home planet of the Moon Kingdom [within the Gwenverse, that is]. The Gwenverse is sort of a universe inside of my head. More of an alternate universe where my dreams take place. I hypothesise that everyone has an alternate universe inside of their heads where their dreams take place. For example, in my dad’s little universe in his head, Wales has won the Six Nations Championship every single year since 1883 when it was known as the Home Nations Championship. Knowing my dad, he was probably around back then as well.
Anyway, back to mine. The Gwenverse [No, not the Spider Man Gwenverse.] is an alternate universe inside of my head where my dreams take place. The Gwenverse contains heavy influences from Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon and Star Trek, with lesser influences from other shows and games I am a fan of [Doctor Who, Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Red Dwarf, and more]. Yes, I believe in the multiverse theory.
Continue reading “Myself in my dreams – The Gwenverse”
My dysphoria is at its worst every time I have a shower, because it forces me to look at my body while I’m cleaning it. I look down and I silently cry inside because my body looks nowhere near as feminine and as cute as I wish it looked. Damn this testosterone poisoning. I can’t wait for the testosterone poisoning to end, but first I would have to come out to my family as a transgender girl, and I’m too scared to do that right now.
Sometimes when the dysphoria seems to creep up on me, I like to sit back and comb through YouTube for cat videos that I find entertaining. A couple of days ago, I managed to find one entertaining enough for me to subscribe to. – Cat CATastrophes. Yes, the second and third letters in the second word are capitalised. No, it’s not an error on my part. That’s how they stylize their channel name. It’s something to help me pass the time, plus it shows an accurate portrayal of cats, not limited to cats charging us mortals to use toilet paper, or acquiring real estate that happens to belong to mortals such as ourselves. Although, if a cat was lying in my underwear drawer, I’d ask the cat to move, no matter what. I like my panties and bras. They’re cute, and so is my boyfriend. [Duh…]
Still wish I owned some cat keyhole lingerie. I think I’d look great in those, plus I’d feel really cute and feminine.
If I’m not watching cat videos or any other type of video, I’m probably playing some online game that’ll inevitably make me imagine a battalion of kittens overthrowing the Five Families with ease and then the Dons and the Caporegimes on their knees in front of said kittens begging for mercy even after one of the kittens steps forward and quotes the Powerpuff Girls…